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Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Basic Skills And Capabilities

Most times, we discuss and focus on the negative aspect of our child's behavior. It is also important to look at the areas in which the child's behavior is socially appropriate. As this helps in boosting  our  own self-esteem as parents and also helps us to establish a more balance view of our child's behavior. If we focus more of our attention on the child's positive behavior , such as willingness to help at home, shopping and other positive things the child can do, then these positive behavior will increase and the child will be left with less time for antisocial behavior .
            Assessing a child's pro-social behavior also enable us to gauge the level and areas at which the child needs help. We must figure out whether a child has the basic social skill to complete a task. For example, does the child who is disruptive at the dinner table have the skill to use his knife and fork properly?. If not, then as part of helping the child, we must ensure that he learns the skill first before we try talking him/her out the disruptive behavior.
Careful use of these list will be more helpful when dealing with a disruptive child.

  1.   Eating behavior (has the child learned how to use knife and fork
  2.   Dressing (can the child dress his/herself; can he tie his laces?
  3.   Toilet (can he wash and bath himself and use the toilet appropriately?)
  4.   Verbal skills (can he ask appropriately for things, introduce himself, initiate a conversation, etc.)
  5.   Simple chores and messages 
  6. Self occupation (can he read and play on his own)
Instead of focusing on a child's antisocial and disruptive behavior, let's try one or all of the above to see how can help the more on their positive behavior .

Interaction Skills: At this stage history-taking process has been reached. You will probably have an  an idea of how the child interacts with you(parent). Peer and sibling relationship may not yet have been touched upon. These are very important since disturbance is very common among children.. The anxious child will often tend to be inhibited, shy and fearful with his/her peers, whereas in similar situations the disruptive child may tend to demand, fight and bully. In which ever way, each needs help
Below is a checklist to cover a child's interaction all areas and ability.

  1. Interaction with parent : Is he co-operative)? How much time do you spend together? Do you talk and play together? Is there any difference in how he relates with both parents?
  2. Interaction with other adult: Is he shy? Is he over familiar? Does he behave appropriately with other adult?.
  3. Interaction with siblings and peers: I he co-operative? Does he lead or is he led? Does he have regular friends? Are his friends of his own age? Is he bullied or teased.
These are some of the question whose appropriate answer will enhance us to help our kids appropriately.

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