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Tuesday, November 12, 2019

The Crucible Family

Once again it is in the family that children learn how to handle their emotions and the emotion of others. According to Daniel Goleman, in his book emotional intelligence, he said "family is our first school for emotional learning; it is where we learn how to feel about ourselves and how others will react to our feelings;  how to think about these feelings;  and what choices we have in reacting ;  how to read and express hopes and fears". Childhood is an emotional learning curve and as parents, it is our responsibility to help our children deal with their God given emotions. Our children our are to develop emotional balance such that they can neither deny their emotions nor are burn up by them. Like any power they need to be able to harnessed, such that they respond appropriately to the emotions of others.
          So, how do we help our children deal with these volatile, varied emotions?. Love is the transformer. Remember the essence of the transformer is to regulate the flow of current, transformers take the incredible power surging through the utility lines and modify it so it matches the voltage needed for the situation. Most small businesses and residences use 110 volt  to power our appliances and gadgets. Large manufacturing plants can use thousands of volts in their industrial  machinery, but even they will have an on-site transformer that makes sure the right amount of voltage is passed along, to either the copier in the office or the big processor on the shop floor. Different situations and different end uses required differing amounts of voltage. It takes transformer to handle all those differences, to make sure the right amount of voltage is applied to any given device.
             Likewise, our children need to know how to make sure that the right type of emotion is being applied to any given situation. Too little creates apathetic, pale response to life, too much creates volcanic, caustic emotional states. So how does your child or any of us, for that matter-how to respond in just the right way to the myriad emotional cues and demands we encounter in our daily lives? Rather than try to go into every possible emotional situation potentially experienced by your child, I'd like to suggest that you instead focus on teaching your child how to channel all of them through a single emotion. After all, on any given day, your child can experience happiness, anxiousness, joy, disappointment, frustration, elation, satisfaction, relief, anger, or fear.  Frankly, that's how my day can go! It seems that God says there's one universal emotional transformer that can help your child stay emotionally balanced as he or she. Grows into adulthood. When our complex emotional lives are routed through this transformer, we have power to perform and wisdom to respond. That transformer is love.

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