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Wednesday, December 04, 2019

Word Builder

The bible has made us to understand that the world was framed out of nothing, but  by the word of God. This is a demonstration of the potent and the power that is in the word we speak. As we all know that we were created in the image and likeness of God, and as such our words too have the power to create. It's then advisable that we use our words to create what we want to see in children.
                Sometimes as parents and teachers,
                 we ask some questions such as these.
  • Why don't we get expected result from our children? 
  • if all we had ever done were right, 
  • We were very certained that praising our children and making them know how much we are proud of their effort and achievement would build their self confidence. But why are some well praised children still unsure of themselves?.
Before we became parents and teachers, we  were convinced that if we reason with our children, take time to explain to them why something's are done in a particular way, that they would respond accordingly. But why do we find ourselves in argument each time we try to explain to our children. We worry about where we went wrong and why some children do not respond the way we would love and expect them to. I can imagine the beautiful plans we had, to be the best parents and teachers in the world,  we even vowed to our selves never to repeat the same mistakes our parents and teachers made while trying to help us grow. The worst of it is that the very same words we said disgusting to and hated during our childhood are the same words we use on our children today. Words like; stupid,   idiot, clumsy, lazy, empty. What happened to all the warmth we had to give. Why have we drifted so far away from our original plans.
                    The question now is "what is the language we use with children that can make a        difference". It is advisable for parent and teachers to use words that describes instead of words that evaluate. We should try as much as we can to stay clear from words like; stupid, foolish, clumsy, naughty,  even sometimes words like beautiful, good, wonderful, as they get in the child's way. It is better to use words not to use words that judge the child's character or capacity. Descriptive words gives room for the child to do better. Let's look at this example by Dr. Hair Ginott, " If a child were to spill a glass of milk, I would say to him or her, 'I see the milk spilled; and then I'd hand him a sponge. In this way,I avoid the blame and put emphasis where it belongs-on what needs to b done. But in most cases, we tend put emphasis on the child rather than what needs to be fixed. For instance had she said something like " stupid, you always spill everything. You'll never learn,...believe me, the child's energy would have been mobilized for defense instead of solution-that is when you hear things like; I didn't know there was water on the floor,or it wasn't i that spilled the milk but the glass.
You might be wondering that it's not so important what we say to children in as much as we tell them how much we love and value them, that we can say almost anything since love is the most important thing. Consider this illustration by Dr. Ginott" In the opinion that words themselves aren't so important as long there is love. For instance, suppose you went for a party with your spouse and you accidentally spilled a drink. I suspect it would make a difference if your spouse said even more affectionately, "clumsy, I see you've done it again, when they hand out prize for house wrecking you'll win first prize". I guess you've preferred it if your spouse said, honey, I see drink spilled, can I help you! Here's my handkerchief".                                                                       
 It's not that, I disagree with the power of love, love is wealth. But for our love to best service our children, it has to be broken down into words that can be helpful at each moment. Even when we are angry, we can still make choices of words that won't cause emotional damage or destroy the people we truly care about.



       

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