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Monday, January 06, 2020

2020 parenting, increasing in difficulty and importance

Compliment of the season everyone. I feel super excited to have each and every one of you b'cos you all made my 2019  great. Looking forward to a better 2020.
Your comments, critics and contributions will be much appreciated as it will help us to serve you better. Today we are going to be talking about "Anger Without Insult".

Believe me, it is unrealistic and unnecessary for parents to be patient all the time, and it is quite helpful  for parents to express their anger cautiously inorder not to Insult their children. Parents genuine anger is one of the strongest means available for changing behavior. 
       " Anger Without Insult" can be achieved when parents make choice of words that describes instead of the ones that attack personality. For instance, if a child's messy room bothers a parent, it will be more helpful to the parent and the child if the parent is able to express his/her genuine feelings-but not with insults and accusations. Not with;
* 'why are you such a slob'?
* 'you are just too dirty to know how to care for things'.
Though it is possible that even with words like these, the child might get the room tidy. But he'd be left with resentment towards the parents and a dirty feeling about his/herself.
        " How then can parents express these same anger feeling helpfully. With "words that describes". For instance
* "The sight of this room does not give me pleasure!' or
* 'I see something that makes me angry. Clothes, books and toys belong on the shelf!' or
* 'when i see things lying all over the floor, I get furious! It makes me feel like opening the window and throwing everything out!'"
These might sound too professional, but I bet you even ordinary parents, when given the skill are more helpful as they are able to infuse the skills with a warmth and a style that is genuinely theirs.



3 comments:

  1. Great Article It can be challenging but I do agree we really must be careful with the way we say things to our children. It is important to give them confidence and not take that away from them.

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  2. I felt resentment toward my dad for a long time. He would get angry and personally attack me instead of expressing his feelings. It would have been a lot nicer and better for our relationship if he had done it the way you described. I am glad I read this because I have a son who is still a toddler but I want to make sure I don't do that to him.

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  3. Very helpful article, Thanks for putting this together

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